More Than Just Following: The True Meaning of Following a Child’s Lead
Following a child’s lead is something that is often misunderstood in our broader field of ABA, most particularly with those therapists whose experience is rooted in a more discrete trial (DTT) approach. Following a child’s lead is considered a key element of NDBI, but it is referring to finding the right balance between adult-led and child-led play. This balance can foster development, engagement, and connection. As play is a core learning tool in NDBI intervention, it’s important to clarify the components.
Adult-led play provides the structure, guidance, and opportunities needed to model skills and scaffold learning. Play is initiated and structured by the adult, often with specific learning goals. It may begin with a teaching plan, where the adult controls the structure, pace, and content. It may include visuals, modeling, and clear directions and highlights the child’s current skill level. This is valuable because it helps a child stay regulated, allows us to introduce new concepts, provides multiple, purposeful learning opportunities, and ensures that developmental targets are addressed.
Child-led play encourages autonomy, motivation, and engagement, which are key for developmental progress. This play may follow the child’s interests, motivations, and ideas, with the adult joining in supportively. It can begin with observing what draws the child in and the adult can follow the child’s lead. The focus is on connection and engagement rather than instruction and it can reveal the child’s sensory preferences, motivations, and social style while building trust and shared experiences. This is important to foster intrinsic motivation and emotional availability. It supports a child’s sense of agency and self-expression while encouraging spontaneous, joyful interactions.
Neither approach is sufficient, and balanced integration supports optimal outcomes. Adult and child-led play should be viewed as complementary roles – not separated. This fluid integration of both approaches is part of the magic of NDBIs. When integrated, we can embed a high number of learning goals (and trials) into activities that the child already enjoys and respect the child’s developmental readiness and interests. NDBI focuses on joint routines, and this allows us to create a joint routine where both adult and child contribute. It allows learning to be joyful, meaningful, and personalized while building flexibility and mutual responsiveness.
Below are a couple of examples that illustrate a balance between adult and child-led types of play.
Example #1. An adult sets out a few materials (2 bubbles wands, large blocks, and 2 cars). The adult then watches to see what the child gravitates towards. The child picks up the bubbles, but they are tightly closed. The adult states, “let’s blow bubbles” and immediately opens the 2nd bubble wand, and blows bubbles. The adult is actively joining the child’s play (even though the child may still just be holding their closed bubble wand). The adult continues to blow bubbles, watching for the child’s reaction which includes watching the bubbles and even approaching the bubbles. The child is enjoying the blown bubbles and the foundation for a connection is set. Once it’s determined a connection is established, the adult can potentially arrange for “help” with the child’s own bubble wand, arranging for eye contact, arrange for “blow”, “pop” or “bubble”. Essentially whatever developmental targets are appropriate to that child.
Example #2. An adult sets out a few materials (2 bubbles wands, large blocks, and 2 cars). The adult watches to see what the child gravitates towards. The child picks up the bubbles, but they are tightly closed. The adult states “let’s blow bubbles”, immediately opens the 2nd bubble wand and blows bubbles. The child does not follow the bubbles but immediately approaches the bubble wand with their hand extended to grab the wand. The child’s motivation is not the blown bubbles, but the wand. The adult wants to join the child’s play, so they offer the child to touch the wand, and the adult begins to understand the child’s motivation could be a sensory element (the wet of the bubbles or the teeth of the wand) or could be related to long line of the wand. To test if a connection is established, the adult may close their own wand and return to floor or shelf. This adult arrangement allows the child to once again take the lead. If they reach for the bubble wand again, you can continue to establish a connection. Once the connection is established, the adult can potentially arrange for “help” with the child’s own bubble wand, arranging for eye contact, arrange for “open” or “wand” or even a fine motor skill of twisting the want open. Again, developmental targets that are appropriate to that child.
Example #3. An adult sets out a few materials (2 bubbles wands, large blocks, and 2 cars). The adult watches to see what the child gravitates towards. The child picks up the bubbles, but they are tightly closed. The adult states “let’s blow bubbles”, immediately opens the 2nd bubble wand and blows bubbles. The child does not follow the bubbles but approaches the bubble wand with their hand extended. To test if a connection is established, the adult may close their own wand and return to floor or shelf. Arranging for the child to take the lead again, but this time the child approaches the car. The adult states “let’s crash car”. The adult quickly builds a tower and taking their own car crashes into the tower. The child quickly looks to the crash, so the adult repeats the actions. The child continues to watch and even smiles. The connection is established. Now the adult can potentially arrange for eye contact, imitation of building blocks or car crashing, “car”, “crash”, the child can respond to an open hand sharing blocks or car to have them stacked or crashed, or other developmental goals for that child.
At any point, the child may take the lead to go back to the bubbles, then back again to the car. It will be up to the therapist to determine the balance between adult and child-led play. Once it’s determined the child enjoys an element (like stacking and crashing), the next day the adult may choose to make it more adult led by stating “let’s build a tower”, where there isn’t necessarily a choice of what the activity is, but as the child grabs the car (assuming to crash) they are engaging in a play initiation. The actions are co-constructed with purpose, but still playful. They slowly build on each other over time as the relationship grows, and trust is built. Learning requires a lot of give-and-take, and we are shaping children to engage with people and the world around them. We must honor their voice but also guide them to learning environments that are responsive, respectful, and rooted in joy.
With gratitude, Carrie
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